Keep Playing Your Spotify Playlists After You Die With Liquid Death's New Bluetooth Urn

Death just got a lot more fun. In what seems like the ultimate example of late-onset capitalism gone awry,  Liquid Death, every podcast host's most beloved water company, has partnered with Spotify to release the world's first "Eternal Playlist Urn." Vowing to make the afterlife far less boring, the world's most bizarre receptacle is a sleek, ivory colored urn that doubles as a Bluetooth speaker. And while I always considered the impermeability of my vibes playlist as one of the many uncomfortable truths about using the streaming service, I never thought the music's corporate overlords would take such pleadings seriously. In unrelated news, oddball uncles everywhere have let out a sigh of collective frustration as another one of their "million-dollar ideas" gets stolen by a corporation for massive profits.

Now, if you're like me, your first question after "Who would want this?" and "How do I get one?" was: "How can I make sure my death-track lineup doesn't have any auto-skips?" Spotify, the ever-inventive Swedish purveyors of tunes and podcasts, has every music sicko covered. With its new Eternal Playlist Generator, users can collaboratively build the perfect playlist to keep the party going deep into the never-ending night. Unfortunately, Spotify has yet to announce a new subscription for its perpetual subscribers. However, customers' beloveds can also connect to the speaker-urn, ensuring their death jams stay ad-free. 

Available on Liquid Death's website, the cool-as-the-crypt urn speaker retails for $495, a relative bargain compared to the cost of purchasing both items separately and bribing the cemetery caretaker to ignore the inevitable noise complaints. Unfortunately, prospective customers will likely need to snag the party-starter well in advance of their untimely demise, as only 150 of the death speakers are available for purchase.

Standing at 7-by-11.4 inches, the polyester resin urn is a white-marble-colored death compartment subtly branded with Liquid Death's spooky calavera emblem beneath Spotify's iconic logo. The speaker, located beneath the removable lid, is perfectly placed to keep your dearly departed's ashes happy in the afterlife. 

The urn might be less practical for the cemetery than you'd expect. Since it doesn't have the unending power supply of a nuclear power plant, the death box is instead charged with a USB-C cable. Unfortunately, Liquid Death has not announced any partnering cemeteries willing to install electrical sockets into their columbarium. 

Building your Eternal Playlist is as easy as taking a survey. With four morbid questions designed to gauge your ghostly atmosphere, ranging from "What's your getting-ready-to-haunt music" to "What's your go-to-ghost noise?" Spotify will generate a custom playlist from your listening history that syncs with your urn's speakers. Those looking to build their eternal jam session will need to visit Spotify's Eternal Playlist Generator through their mobile app. Unfortunately, Spotify drastically underestimated the length of my prospective slumber. Complete with Johnny Cash, The Smiths, AC/DC, and Nirvana, my eternal playlist is only an hour and nineteen minutes long. Inexplicably, Blue Öyster Cult's "Don't Fear The Reaper" and Biggie's "Life After Death" album were conspicuously absent. Perhaps I can find a way to text my Spotify AI DJ these requests from the grave.

The deadly collaboration is far from Spotify's first cross-brand partnership. For instance, the company partnered with fellow Swedish industry giant Ikea to produce its Bluetooth lamp. The Vappeby, a $65 lamp that resembled a little beige mushroom, was released in 2022 with a "Spotify Tap" function, allowing users to access the streaming service with a single touch. Since then, the feature has been added to Ikeas' Blomprakt and Nattbad smart speakers. Another of the company's ventures into consumer products was Car Thing, an in-car entertainment system. Discontinued in 2024, Car Thing was largely a failure, forcing Spotify to issue refunds for its first-ever hardware product. 

Meanwhile, Liquid Death has used its flair for the morbid to amplify its brand. With the tag line "murder your thirst," the company's deadly flavors like "Rest in Peach" and "Doctor Death" have been ripe marketing fodder for a company whose only guarantee is "not to explode your head." In 2024, Liquid Death took its marketing stunts to the next level, partnering with Yeti for its life-sized casket cooler. The auctioned cooler was an incredibly lucrative endeavor, going for an astounding $68,200. 

So is the 2.4-pound speaker-urn worth it? According to Liquid Death's announcement video, the answer might depend on your tolerance for ghosts. Claiming that music reduces hauntings by 47%, the speakers purport to save families from the ravages of familiar poltergeists. By my calculations, this means that the Eternal Playlist Urn will save roughly 70 customers from the horrors of the paranormal. Unfortunately, my parents are Apple Music subscribers, so it looks like I will need to add this paranormal insurance policy to my list of Spotify features Apple Music users can only dream of.